I Run, For Life!

Let’s face it, hipster: you’re out of breath, out of shape, living on coffee, Lucky Strikes and pasta. You might be skinny but I wouldn’t like to see what’s inside that carefully styled package. Even if you’re into organic, raw, vegetarian, green, what have you - you still can’t resist that pizza and Coke in the wee hours of the morning after you’ve had a few Pabst Blue Ribbons (or more). Thank God for the smoke ban in bars, otherwise your “social smoking” would blow up to a pack a day.

Don’t panic though!

Your insides can look as good as your outsides: just lace your high tops, throw on your favorite T-shirt and perhaps a pair of cargo pants if sweatpants are a bit much. Then load up your iPod with the following tunes and step outside - and let the magic happen!

1.       Helter Skelter - The Beatles

OK, so you’re outside, good. Start walking and push ‘play’. Listen.

When I get to the bottom
I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and turn
and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again!

If it’s not enough stimuli for you and you haven’t started running yet, let’s try this:

2.       I’m So Excited - Le Tigre

I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it,
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it.
I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it,
I know, I know, I know, I want to!

Don’t think how you look, perhaps that girl you spotted in the coffee shop doesn’t have her lunch break now, so you’re safe. You’re free from tight jeans and forehead-covering bangs, so what are you waiting for? Lose control and run even faster!

3.       Gravity Rides Everything - Modest Mouse

OK, you’re free to slow down a little. It’s your time to contemplate your life and how great you have just felt when you were zooming through the park alleys. Can you keep that feeling?

4.       Spread Your Love - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

I spread my love like a fever
I ain’t ever coming down

You’re hooked. You need to keep going! Can this be looove?

5.       Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

Oh no! You’ve just zoomed by the coffee shop girl. Her lunch break is earlier than you thought. You stop two trees later, but then you pick up your speed - she can’t know you’re out of breath! You try to jog confidently.

6.       Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death from Above - CSS

Your imagination is running wild. So are you!

Run run run, to make your heart shake
Kiss kiss kiss, will make this earth quake
I’m gonna get what I’m willin to take
This gotta worth the miles you made

7.       Boys & Girls - Blur

You’re still high on adrenaline. Wow, maybe you can even do it regularly? Maybe you can actually leave the herd?

Streets like a jungle
So call the police
Following the herd
Down to Greece on holiday
Love in the nineties
Is paranoid
On sunny beaches
Take your chances

8.       We Will Vacation, You Can Be My Parasol - Be Your Own Pet

You’re ready. You’re ready to be uncool, leave the herd and do your own thing, with your insides intact. You’re so stoked, you set off to sprint!

9.       Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix

Phew, you’re exhausted.

Purple haze all in my brain,
lately things don’t seem the same,
actin’ funny but I don’t know why
’scuse me while I kiss the sky.

10.   I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown

But damn, you feel good! You leave the park tired but it’s like you’re walking on air - can this be real? You make a little jiggle and turn around to check if anyone’s watching.  No one, oh well - you’ll be back! You’re gonna take the park by the storm and maybe even venture out onto the streets. Perhaps you’ll even run through your neighborhood, past the coffee shops, music venues, bars, vintage and record stores, wearing shorts and moisture wicking shirts. Your mind is racing.

But before all that happens you need to make it to your pal’s pre-birthday party tonight. You stop at a corner shop and get a pack of Lucky Strikes - you never know how the night will develop.

10.   Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying - Belle and Sebastian

Your alternative ending track. You don’t even know how you’ve ended up here, at the edge of the park. Exhausted, sweaty and embarrassed - the girl has just passed you by and caught you panting. You want to know how to disappear completely. You turn on Radiohead, sit down on a bench and wait till it gets dark to go home. You cry.

***

– by Ola, a reformed hipster*

(with a little help from my friend)

*I  lied. My pants were never tight enough.